Tue 16 May 2006
I know what I want to be. I want to be a writer.
I don’t know what I want to do.
Goals notwithstanding, I just can’t see my writing career putting food on the table until I’ve cranked out that first bestseller. I’d love to be a star blogger like Godin, Kawasaki or Gruber, have netizens hanging on my every word, and get book deals dropped in my lap every day. I don’t know how to get there from here, though. I can crank out web copy. I haven’t done much of it, but I know I can. Could I do it several hours a day, every day?
Do I want to?
I’ve had a great time playing with Rails for the last couple of months, and doing a little freelance web consulting. I can’t see that bringing home the bacon, either. Not for long. This pond is too small, and there are a lot of fish in it already. I’m probably the only fish in the pond that knows Rails — but I’m not sure how that translates into a competitive edge when most people think this stuff can’t be that hard (after all, everyone’s nephew knows HTML) and are reluctant to spend much.
I wanted to do a little copywriting, a little development, and a little creative writing, and have the first two subsidize the third. I suppose that could still happen. I haven’t gotten my planned copywriting venture off the ground yet. There may be a little water down that hole.
I have no immediate prospects for my next paycheck, and that’s giving me the willies. I’m sure every newbie freelancer goes through that. The question, though, is what do I do about it?
Eventually I’d like to spend my days either 1) writing fiction or 2) surfing the Interweb and writing about the cool stuff I find. How does one get to that point? I hoped that breaking out of the cubicle prison would give me the time to make money with one hand and develop my creative second career with the other. Was that naive? If I returned to full-time employment, would it advance my goals faster? Or have I just not worked hard enough yet at my own business?
Do any freelancers out there — web, writer, or otherwise — have thoughts (besides ‘cut the navelgazing already’)?
I expect responses to fall into two categories: right brain (”Go for your dreams! (= You can do anything! (=”) and left (”Suck it up. Get a job. Everyone else has to.”). Let’s dig a little deeper than that, huh?
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6 Responses to “Do Be Do Be Do”
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T.H. Says:
May 21st, 2006 at 12:45 amYou know you want to be a writer but remind me again…Why do you want to be a writer? Why is it important that you be a writer? Who is it important to?
And is there consistency in the how and the why? You have to always be able to connect the dots and if you can’t, there’s a problem.
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callie Says:
May 22nd, 2006 at 12:34 pmHere’s the thing. To do anything creatively, you need the mindspace to do it. For me personally, I realized during my first attempt at freelancing full time, worrying about money is death for my writing. That is not to say you must be wealthy to write…far from it. I only mean that for me (I know this is not true for many famous writers, but whatever) worry about where my next paycheck was coming from was soul crushing, all consuming, and killed all my creative impulses. For awhile, that meant I had to go get another full time job. I started writing again. But then I picked up a lot more freelance work while still having a fulltime job (which, yes, meant less writing during that time) so that I could one day freelance again without freaking out about money. Now, two years later, I’m back to fulltime freelancing and writing. I still wish I could make more and some months are worrysome, but I’m not wondering if I’ll be able to pay my mortgage or eat. There is a difference, albeit subtle.
One thing I was always told about my writing dreams is that they are far-fetched, near impossible and so why bother. Everyone will tell you in ANY writing class that you will never make a living at it and so you should just move on. So. Okay. You may not ever make a living at it. But if it is what you must do - besides all else — you will find a way to make the ends meet and still do it. My painter friends are like this. My musician friends are like this. They do it because they want to. If it never makes money, they still must do it because it is in them to do it. That doesn’t mean they don’t all do other things to pay the bills.
The trick is to do other things to pay that bills that don’t KILL your creative energy. For me personally, copywriting was a killer for my creative writing. For others though, it works.
I have so much more to say and have to jump on a conference call for the actual paid portion of my day. I’ll be back with some choice quotes from Rilke & Samuel R. Delany. I know you don’t want pat answers to this question (who does?) — and I’ve recieved so many of them in my life that I’m determined to dig deeper for you. You deserve it. Your writing deserves it.
Ciao for now.
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Jonathan Says:
May 23rd, 2006 at 2:58 pmTH:
For reasons I want to write, refer back to my first several posts, starting here:http://starkravingcalm.com/archives/too-much-popcorn
Callie:
I’m beginning to think freelancing is an iterative process for some of us. You try it awhile, go back to the nest until you can’t take it anymore, then stay on your own a little longer. Wash, rinse, repeat, gaining experience each time around.I do know that I was writing more when I was working fulltime. Whether it’s worrying about money, having to maximize my billable time, or maybe the drama of the office was just fuel for the creative fire, who knows.
I’ve looked on some copywriting job boards and haven’t found a whole lot that interests me at first glance. I still enjoy the thought of running a successful software startup. I’ve also noticed one of the things I DON’T like about that line of work: I never feel like I’m making any progress. I spent a week on and off working on my copywriting website and it was endless tweaking. It’s done for now, but eventually I’ll get tired of it and have to tweak it some more. Everywhere I’ve worked, I’ve rarely had a software project make it to release, and even then, the work started all over again for the next version.
Not so with writing. I feel like I’m getting something worthwhile done. I can wrap up a post or a page or an edit job and feel like it’s good enough, and move on the the next one. Maybe it wouldn’t be like that working on someone else’s project.
For a long time I assumed that writing for hire was a logical step toward fulltime creative writing. I’m tossing that misconception. If it turns out that I can practice the craft enough on my own while making money elsewhere (and still providing “mindspace”), so what? If the freelance thing works out and gives me the mindspace, so much the better.
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May 23rd, 2006 at 3:36 pmOk, so looking back, I see your primary reason for why you want to be a writer is because you love writing and it is important for you to be a writer because you love writing and finally, who is it important to, well it would be important to you.
The way I see it, there are two views to finding fulfillment and happiness in what you do. Some say you have to find what you love to do and do it no matter what and others say you have to find the purpose for your life and fulfill it.
So which camp do you fall? Despite all the Rick Warren hype, I think you should still ask for what purpose do you want to write and be a writer?
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May 24th, 2006 at 2:20 pmThe way I see it, there are two views to finding fulfillment and happiness in what you do. Some say you have to find what you love to do and do it no matter what and others say you have to find the purpose for your life and fulfill it.
Are those necessarily two different things? If your life’s work isn’t something you find fulfillment in and take pleasure in (not necessarily every minute of every day, of course), why would you think it’s your life’s work?
I think you should still ask for what purpose do you want to write and be a writer?
Because I enjoy doing it, and have at least a little bit of a gift for it, and gifts should be used.
Because every book I’ve ever read has changed me in some way and become part of who I am. I’d like to offer that kind of experience to others someday.
Or I can just do it for the money.
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May 24th, 2006 at 5:38 pmIn my opinion, I do think the two things are different because the first approach is all about me. I think the world pushes the “do what makes you happy” philosophy like crack and hdtv. You gonna tell that to the soldier fighting overseas, the single mother barely providing for her kids, the immigrant cleaning all those offices and cubicles so he can bring his family over, the blue-collar factory worker making the SUVs we’re driving so his kids can go to college? If everyone did what they loved, you’d have a world full of people following their dreams starving to death and living on the streets. My point is that there’s nothing wrong with doing what you love but not at the expense of real purpose. I believe for some, purpose may lead to enjoying what you’re doing but for many, purpose will be all they have and it will be enough. Finally, I agree gifts should be used but do you see it as a gift given to you for your own use and happiness or as a gift to help others. I disagree that using your gift because you have one is a true purpose but rather I believe it’s how and to what end you use that gift. If you want to write to enrich and change people’s lives, then that’s a start, a good start and the beginning of a purpose I’d say…and if you make a ton of money and get to write a few novels on the side, well that’s gravy and there’s nothing wrong with gravy as long as you have some real potatoes to have it with.